Build a Stronger Foundation for Your Relationship
The Gottman Institute
Are you curious about how to make your relationship more resilient, connected, and fulfilling?
I invite couples I work with to explore the *Sound Relationship House*, a proven model developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman based on over 40 years of research with thousands of couples.
This simple, visual guide outlines what makes relationships work—from building trust and friendship to managing conflict and supporting each other’s dreams. Whether you’re just starting out or navigating long-term challenges, this approach offers clear, practical steps to strengthen your bond.
Let’s use this together to identify what’s working well and where you might grow. It’s a powerful starting point for deepening connection, rebuilding trust, and creating shared meaning.
THE SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE THEORY
Developed by John Gottman, Ph.D. and Julie Gottman, Ph.D.
Pioneers in relationship science, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have revolutionized our understanding of marriage, relationships, and couples therapy. They draw upon four decades of breakthrough research with more than 3,000 couples. The Sound Relationship House Theory is the foundation of the Gottman Method, which uses a practical approach to help couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection, and intimacy in their relationships.
WHAT CAN YOU DO NOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORK?
Build Love Maps
• Maintain awareness of your partner’s world
Share Fondness and Admiration
• Make deposits into the Emotional Bank Account
Turn Towards Instead of Away
• Accept bids for emotional connection
The Positive Perspective
• A positive perspective occurs when the friendship of your marriage is strong
Manage Conflict
• Accept influence from your partner: be open to compromise
• Discuss your problems: take turns listening to one another about perpetual issues
• Practice self-soothing: keep yourself calm
Make Life Dreams Come True
• Find ways to support each other’s life goals and dreams
Create Shared Meaning
• Build a shared sense of purpose. What is your mission and legacy?
WHAT ABOUT TRUST AND COMMITMENT?
5 ways to build trust, love, and loyalty in your relationship:
1. Make trustworthiness a main priority in your relationship
2. Act to maximize your partner’s well-being
3. Know that trust is built in small positive moments
4. Avoid negative comparisons
5. Generate frequent thoughts and acts that cherish your partner’s positive qualities and minimize your focus on their negative faults
©2000 – 2011 by Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.
Distributed under license by The Gottman Institute, Inc.
